I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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