dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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