11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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