at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
