You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
