and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize