careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
do herpes really smell.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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