Having a random hookup so left but love u
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
