Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
