You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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