So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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