My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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