When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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