I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize