Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
