Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
