4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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