As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
