They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
More tranny stories later!
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
