She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
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no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
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I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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