I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
ttyl tear gas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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