I just pynch a tree in the face
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
