good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Randomize