i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
