Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
