my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
