They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
