the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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