if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
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at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
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I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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