You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
