all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
