i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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