You're completely useless in the revolution.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
