We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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