Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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