I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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