just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
