my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
