I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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