beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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