And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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