She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
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It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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