Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
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The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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