he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
