You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Randomize
