either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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