Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
