my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
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