just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
