420 ftw
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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