i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
