Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
