Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to sanitize my soul.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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