That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Randomize