Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
