Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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