turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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