i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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