found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
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